step to me get burnt like toast

Hmph.

I decided the drama going on is completely stupid and boring, so I..

Let's just say, the Gazimon who sold me that laced weed is a Digitama right now.

Whatever.

The point is, I come back, and Azula's a complete retard. She's not MY Azula. I think I need to set something on fire for this. As in, half of the Digital World.

Also my wife and child are still not here.

I AM DESTROYING EVERYTHING I CAN GET MY HANDS ON. WHERE IS DEMIDEVIMON. WHERE IS HE. DEMIDEVIMON GOD DAMN IT STOP EATING THAT FUCKING CAKE WE'RE ON A MISSION HERE.

WHERE'S RENAMON. WHERE'S AZULA.

I AM SO PISSED THE MORE I TYPE.

Hm. I'm helping Takato and his friend out with training. If anyone wants to come, they're welcome. It'll be in Tetha. Azula will most definitely be there.

[ PRIVATE TO TAKERU ]

You should come, kid.

Ugh.

This..

Ugh.

This is fucking bullshit. I left this place eleven years ago, and it's only been a year here! I have a job and a wife and a kid to support, I can't be going all around the damn Digital World with DemiDevimon like I'm a kid!

Whatever. DemiDevimon ate my lecture notes anyways.

[ THIS JOURNAL IS NO LONGER AFFILIATED WITH digital_dive; PLEASE DEFRIEND ]

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid Disorder:	Very High
Schizoid Disorder:	Very High
Schizotypal Disorder:	High
Antisocial Disorder:	High
Borderline Disorder:	Moderate
Histrionic Disorder:	Moderate
Narcissistic Disorder:	High
Avoidant Disorder:	Moderate
Dependent Disorder:	High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:	Moderate
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! -- -- Personality Disorders --

These two questions made me LOL so hard:

Have you ever been in jail or done something that you could be put in jail for?

Do you ever steal things from stores or people's houses?

Hm. What'd I miss? Some lame festival?

I spent some good ~quality time~ with Kimmie. And hey, Simba's learned some new words. And my job is going well..

Yeah, I'm pretty pleased right now.

Someone keep Daimon away from me, his face would ruin my excellent mood.

[ HAY GURL HAY I'M BACK DESU~ ]

Name a pup, and I'll tell you about their sexuality/sexual preference.

And/Or.

Name a pup, and I'll tell you something you'd only notice about them if they were naked/nearly naked.

SHEGO
RILEY
DEVIN
KATRINA
CAMERON

You guys know I like a competition.

...

Why is there a little kid and a seal in my goddamn apartment? Do I look like a damn babysitter, or a free house?

Uh, that's Ash and Pukamon. They're staying with us for a whi-

I never authorized that shit! God damn it DemiDevimon. I'm going to fucking beat you senseless.

You're not gonna kick them out, are you? On the COLD STREETS? TO BE EATEN?

Dramatic baby.

...



Whatever, keep them out of my way.

[ Long pause as Shego exits. DemiDevimon is clearly grinning. ]

Ever since she found Kim again, Shego's been in a good mood! This is excellent, I haven't been hit with plasma for a long time now! It was kinda nice when she was a kid, no plasma.. Stuff hurts!

Hmph. Anyone brings up that damn virus, I'll burn your face in.

Anyways, I've started a.. business. Stupid Kim and her goddamn 'legal' tendencies...

For the right price, I'll get you what you want. A weapon, a treasure, a Digimon.. whatever it is, legal or illegal. Infiltration and stealing are my specialties, heh. This isn't that different.

Not to mention the various goods I already have..



You know my name.

Okay. I.. man I'm going to regret this.

I promised Kim since she's watching Sam Shego I'd help. So..

I guess I'm the first official Digital World Virus Crisis Babysitter.

[ ANYONE WANNA DROP OFF THEIR PARTNERS WITH DEVIMON FOR A FEW HOURS? DAYS? UNTIL IT'S OVER? SIGN UP; IT'S COMPLETELY FREE. ]

[ Shego sounds quite odd as a nice, normal six-year old. ]

Devimon said I can use this thing to talk to people!

I woke up in this weird place, without my brothers.. we have to share a stupid room, and when my mom has the twins, Hector gets his own room! How not fair is that?! I'm the girl, I should get my own room! I'll be stuck with Mitchell!

.. Anyways! And this weird bat and an adorable kitty cat were here! And I got all scared and the bat turned into this giant demon! But he's pretty nice, even though he cries a lot.

He kept calling me Shego though, what a stupid name. It sounds like something Hector would think of, how lame! I had so much money, but Devimon took it away because MAYBE I was spending it on candy. What does he know about money?! He's not even human!

I went to this place called The Nexus and now I'm staying with a babysitter. Her name is Kim and she's really nice and pretty and strong and she fought some bad guys and I helped! I punched someone in the kidney, just like my friend from school tolt me to! I mean, Kim knocked him out, but I totally softened him up for her!

I got to see a rocket and she got me clothes and ice cream and everything! She's the best!

I'm not ever going home!

...







Devimon told me to ask about how K.. Ko...Ko-Shi-Ro (pronounced Ko-Shy-Roo by Shego) and Az-ula (Az-ewwla) are doing. He says they're my friends. I don't remember having weirdos for friends, but whatever!

[ She snickers, whispering. ]

I'm totally gonna sneak some candy from Kim! Bye!

OH GOD NO. SOMEONE HELP ME! SOMEONE- NOOOO!

[ Screaming is heard. ]

SHEGO! STOP!

MY NAME'S NOT SHEGO! THAT'S A STUPID NAME!

Someone help! SHE'S A MONSTER! A MONSTERRRRRRRRRR-

[ END ]

[ OOC: Shego - 6 ]

[Private to Satsuma]

You're the leader of DATS, right?






I'm in.

Wow.

I give bitch-Kim an award for leaving the quickest.

Teenagers, really.

[ Locked to people she knows and doesn't hate; Koushirou, Azula, Takato, Molly, Ryo, Yushima, etc. you know who you are. NO MASARUS OR TOUMAS ALLOWED! ]

Weirdly enough, I met my Kim back in the Nexus- though she's younger, and doesn't remember anything from this world.

I couldn't bring her here because of bitch Kim, but now BK's gone.. I'm still not going to bring her. I know Kim's badass and strong but if she got hurt, it would be my fault. I still haven't forgotten the Dead Zone.

[Private]

I'm so relieved. rfulwgherliug I'm going soft, really.

[ Public ]

Anyone want a free talking green cat and a gently used DemiDevimon?

SHEGO!

[ OOC: strikes unreadable, italics = DD. ]

How to explain this? Okay, so take all your character journals and list 'em. Then explain why you picked that LJ name for them/story behind the LJ name/etc. etc.

SHEGO: pronetoviolence From Shego's Wiki article: Her brother, Hego, once summed her up as a "cranky smart-mouth, prone to excessive violence."

KATRINA: tamer_katrina She's a Tamer, fuck yes!

DEVIN: dracotamerdevin I wanted it to be dragontamerdevin but it wouldn't fit D: Devin LOVES dragons. So, since his Digimon is Dracomon... DRACO Tamer Devin!

RILEY: thuggin_luv On The Boondocks, Riley was a huge fan of the rapper Thugalicious. His hit single? Thuggin' Luv!

IKUTO: digimon_warrior Does I am Digital World's warrior! sound familiar? : D

[ BOLD = DEMIDEVIMON, GREEN = SIMBA ]
So, what the fuck was up with that 'training' crap? Helmets? What is this, elementary school?

Yeah, elementary school!
Yeah! Yeah!

I've decided to make my own fucking class. It's not training, it's a fucking class. You'll learn, trust me.

Ain't no helmets in the Digital World! Ask Ogremon about helmets, ain't none!
Food!

...

[ Shego pauses out of irritation. ]

If you want to learn how to really fight, how to save your life? Come to the park in Tetha today at 3PM. This includes Digimon, for those too retarded to master Digivolution.

And be prepared for a real fight- guys, wear those cups. In my eyes the only reason the lord gave you those parts is so I can kick 'em and evade arrest.

That's right, JAIL!
Go! Go! [ Purring is heard. Shego clutches the D-Comm tightly, growling. She sets it down, and her voice is distant. ]

Shut the fuck up! I don't need help! Jesus D, did you eat all of that chocolate?! If you gave any to Simba, I'll kill you!

SERPENTINE! SERPENTINE!
FLEE!

[ END ]